Detractors of the internet revolution will tell you that in our effort to save time and do more, we are tired, overworked, stressed and have little time to engage in the truly meaningful ways of connecting with others, especially as it relates to the ability to have a really good conversation.

If your conversations are increasingly being limited to quick exchanges via instant messages or the odd phone call, and you’re looking for a more meaningful connection with others, here are 4 tips for you:

Take Time to Engage Face-to-Face

Taking the time to engage with others face-to-face is a necessary life-skill to be able to truly perfect the art of good conversation. Face-to-face communication gives you many advantages over text/phone messages. For one, visual cues can tell you a lot about a person, especially when language gives conflicting messages. You can identify how open and honest a person is or whether it looks like you may have to relate with greater sensitivity or alertness.

Practice Deep Listening

Deep listening is different from regular listening in that it requires you to prioritize and understand what the speaker is saying over everything else that is going on. This means setting aside all distractions (including your instant messaging apps) and focussing on understanding what the speaker is trying to say.

Deep listening also requires you to practice empathy which is a very subtle yet powerful way of putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. As you practice deep listening, your conversations will start to become more meaningful because you are able to understand the other person better and respond accordingly.

Listening without pre-conceived notions, judgments, or perceptions is also another component of deep listening that helps to nurture compassion within relationships.

Nurture Spontaneity and Creativity

Good conversation doesn’t have to be boring. Unlike boardroom meetings and office gatherings, regular conversations don’t necessarily have to lead to a logical conclusion or a final result.  Normal conversations may not have a logical sequence because of how spontaneous they can be. In fact, the best conversations are often the most spontaneous.

While having a list of conversation starters on hand can be useful, think about conversations as a natural outpouring of thoughts and emotions. Let spontaneity guide you. Most of all, don’t be afraid to have fun.

Learn New Things and Read

The best conversationalists are often well-read and have lots of different conversation topics to discuss. Skim the major headlines in the news daily. Talk about the latest movies, the newest books you’ve read and the music you enjoy. Engage with different types of people so you can gain the benefit of fresh and interesting perspectives. Avoid topics that can be of a controversial nature such as religion or politics, especially with strangers, as discussions can end up getting heated very quickly. Choose to find common ground instead.

Having a good conversation doesn’t have to be hard. All it requires is an empathetic ear, a willingness to understand, listening without judgment, and the desire to create a genuine connection.

Having good conversation skills will help you to connect with people, both in personal and business relationships. As the saying goes, people do business with people that they like.  The person who perfects the art of good communication is more likable and has a higher chance of success.

A coach can help you to develop effective communication skills with the various people in your business, including prospects, customers, and staff.