Conflicts are inevitable in any relationship, both business and personal. However, it’s important to manage disagreements fairly to ensure that no one is left feeling like they have to deal with the raw end of the stick. Unhealthy fighting techniques can cause relationships to crumble very quickly. Here are 5 fair disagreement management rules to help create and sustain relationships that last:

1.  Manage Your Responses
People who are good at managing relationships know better than to fight when emotions are at their peak. At this time, emotions overpower logic and it’s natural to want to lash out and say or do things you may regret later. Take a run outside or write down your feelings on paper to help you process and figure out how you want to address things.
Talk about how the person’s specific behavior makes you feel in a non-judgmental manner. Be open and receptive to what they have to say.

2.  Do Not Stockpile
Address conflicts as and when they arise. Do not stockpile. Talk about the specific conflict, address it, and then move on. Do not continue to hold onto it afterward. Humans are inherently imperfect and flawed. If you’re unable to make allowances for mistakes, you can find it very difficult to maintain any sort of lasting relationship. Be willing to trust, to be open, and to love again.

3.  Empathy, Understanding, and Acceptance
A lot of relationship disputes often hit a rough patch because of a basic unwillingness to look at an alternative point of view. When we make the effort to truly understand the other person and the reasons why they do things, it becomes difficult to hold onto negativity. It isn’t necessary to agree all the time. It is more important, however, to accept differences in opinions and agree to disagree with respect and mutual understanding.

4.  Look for Additional Support
Run difficulties past a trusted confidant, such as a coach, who can be relied upon to be honest, and genuinely has your best interest at heart. A third party can be useful to help get you back on track and refocus on the real issues with maturity and objectivity. It will help you vent and clear the air in your own mind.

It will also give you the benefit of another point of view which can be more objective than your own. Once you’ve had a chance to get things off your chest and clarify your thoughts, you’ll be able to dialogue more constructively.

5.  Be a Team Player
Whatever happens, at the end of the day, remember that you are in this together and it’s up to you to create the environment where both parties care about each other’s interests and truly want to help each other.

A lot of problems can be traced back to prioritizing self-interests above the interests of the partnership. Be a team player in your relationship so that you both have a partnership that serves and supports you for years to come.

Take the time to use these disagreement management rules whenever you have conflicts, consult a coach as needed, and watch your relationship grow from strength to strength.

A coach can help you to manage disagreements to build solid relationships.