We say false things to ourselves all the time.

We don’t do this intentionally, of course. But these falsehoods serve a purpose, which is mostly to rationalize our feelings of unhappiness and make us feel justified when things don’t go our way. But they also create denial and can be the difference between a life lived with purpose and one lived without.

What are some of the false statements we tell ourselves? Here are 3 of the biggest:

False Statement #1:  I need to be SOMEONE or have SOMETHING to be really happy.

We often think that when we have our perfect [insert significant other, home, business…etc.], life will somehow magically get better and we will finally become happy. In the search for achievement and a better future, we can lose our sense of joy in what we have now.

The Truth:  Happiness can be obtained in the calm acceptance of now. It is a choice.

Happiness from a certain thing, like any other human emotion, is fleeting. You may think that achieving something particular will finally make you happy, but happiness from a particular achievement is usually temporary since we continue to grow and progress, and as we do, the types of achievements that make us happy change.

Here is an example: Is the “A” mark that you got on your report card in the 4th grade still making you continually happy? Probably not because you have progressed way past that now. It is the same with other achievements throughout your life. You will progress past them.

But overall happiness for life is not dependent on anything or anyone. So you can have general happiness for life and make it yours daily if you simply and resolutely choose to do so. Here are some tips:

• Keep a gratitude journal daily to record the things, people, and events that you are happy about.
• Do things for others.
• Take time to pursue your passions and spend time with people who energize and inspire you.
• Listen to motivating podcasts while you go about your tasks for the day.
• Choose to be happy. Make it one of your important values in life.

False Statement #2:  Life is what happens to me. I cannot control it.

It is easy to shift blame to circumstances, situations, and the whole world to justify your present state. But history is filled with examples of successful people who have overcome debilitating circumstances to become shining examples of ambition and endurance.

The Truth:  Life is what I make it.

You are not a victim. While the past may have influenced you to some degree, it does not prevent you from taking ownership of your life now. Ask yourself these important questions:

• In what ways am I stopping myself from living the life of my dreams?
• What are the self-debilitating beliefs that hold me back and how did I get them?
• What small steps can I take today to take ownership of how I feel and start achieving goals instead of making excuses?

False Statement #3:  I am not successful. Therefore, I must be a failure.

We often tell ourselves this lie when we compare ourselves to others or use others’ expectations as a barometer for our level of success. These comparisons do nothing to elevate us emotionally and can often leave us feeling drained.

The Truth:  Compete with yourself and yourself alone.

Take pride in your own accomplishments and improve upon your own performance. Understand that other people have had different experiences and there may have been natural downturns that you don’t necessarily know about.

An important part of the process is goal-setting. Set small goals for yourself daily and reward yourself when you achieve them. Only you should be the barometer of your success since you are the creator of your life.

A coach can help you with your goal setting and growth to take your business and life to where you want it to be.